{"product_id":"unisex-hoodie-2","title":"The 12% Effort Heavyweight Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eAround year three of corporate life, you realize the grand prize for being the hardest worker in the room is simply more work. You answered emails on Sunday afternoons, volunteered to clean up someone else’s botched slide deck, and ate sad, lukewarm salads over your keyboard, only to watch an executive give your promotion to a guy named Brad whose primary skill is nodding thoughtfully during Zoom calls. It is an elaborate scam designed to convert your actual lifespan into third-quarter shareholder optimism.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe 12% Effort Heavyweight Hoodie drops straight out of \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe Quiet Quit Collection to reset the terms of your contract. Twelve percent is not laziness. It is precision resource management. It is giving an employer exactly enough focus to keep your direct deposit clearing while saving the remaining eighty-eight percent of your brain for your real life. We cut this piece from a substantial cotton-poly blend backed by a dense fleece interior that holds heat like a fortress. It is the kind of thick, comforting weight that acts like an immediate sensory buffer against mandatory fun, passive-aggressive Slack pings, and meetings that could have been an unanswered email.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe outer face is pure ring-spun cotton, giving the fabric a clean, premium surface that hangs with genuine streetwear weight rather than sagging like cheap gym gear. We gave it a three-panel hood that actually holds its shape around your head instead of drooping like a sad sock, paired with matching flat drawstrings and a self-fabric patch on the back. The front pouch pocket is deep enough to stash your personal phone while your work laptop sits untouched in sleep mode across the room.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBecause this fleece is built thick, it runs a bit snug through the torso and shoulders. If you want that proper, slouchy armor where you can sink entirely out of sight on a remote workday, order one size larger than your usual. Pull the hood up, set your status to away, and enjoy the absolute luxury of doing the bare minimum with total conviction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Flip'em the Bird ","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":68043250434230,"sku":"4170642_10779","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":68043250466998,"sku":"4170642_10780","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":68043250499766,"sku":"4170642_10781","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":68043250532534,"sku":"4170642_10782","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043250565302,"sku":"4170642_10783","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043250598070,"sku":"4170642_13416","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ S","offer_id":68043250630838,"sku":"4170642_24999","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ M","offer_id":68043250663606,"sku":"4170642_25000","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ L","offer_id":68043250696374,"sku":"4170642_25001","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ XL","offer_id":68043250729142,"sku":"4170642_25002","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043250761910,"sku":"4170642_25003","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Gold \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043250794678,"sku":"4170642_25004","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ S","offer_id":68043250827446,"sku":"4170642_20284","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ M","offer_id":68043250860214,"sku":"4170642_20285","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ L","offer_id":68043250892982,"sku":"4170642_20286","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ XL","offer_id":68043250925750,"sku":"4170642_20287","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043250958518,"sku":"4170642_20288","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bone \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043250991286,"sku":"4170642_20289","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/8295\/6605\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-team-gold-front-6af4c40763ab6.jpg?v=1794425878","url":"https:\/\/flipemthebird.com\/products\/unisex-hoodie-2","provider":"Flip'em the Bird ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}