{"product_id":"the-corporate-burnout-crewneck","title":"The Corporate Burnout Crewneck","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere is a distinct, blood-chilling sound that belongs exclusively to modern corporate employment: the sudden calendar invite that lands at 4:18 PM on a Thursday with no agenda and an ambiguous title like Quick Sync. You stare at the screen, your chest tightens, and within three minutes you are trapped in a thirty-person Google Meet where one director uses fifty minutes to explain a slide deck they clearly opened for the first time sixty seconds before the call started. You are not collaborating. You are not brainstorming. You are being held against your will so someone who makes four times your salary can feel like their day was productive.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Corporate Burnout Crewneck drops straight out of The Quiet Quit Collection to give a formal name to the crime. It is wearable off-the-clock defiance for anyone who has perfected the art of staring dead-eyed into a webcam while plotting their complete disappearance from the digital workforce. You cannot legally bill the company for the vital life force they steal during these pointless status meetings, but you can dress like someone whose compliance has an expiration date.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe cut this piece with a relaxed, boxy drape from dense, heavyweight cotton that keeps its structure instead of sagging like your will to live around 2:00 PM. The collar stays locked flat against your neck without curling into bacon ridges, and the fabric is pre-washed so it feels like your favorite worn-in bunker layer from the second you pull it over your head. It has enough weight to look sharp on camera if you are forced to unmute, but feels comfortable enough to crawl straight into bed the second the host finally ends the call. Pull it on, switch your Slack status to away, and stop giving your bandwidth to people who treat your time like free real estate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Flip'em the Bird ","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":68043332354230,"sku":"6766716_5434","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":68043332386998,"sku":"6766716_5435","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":68043332419766,"sku":"6766716_5436","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":68043332452534,"sku":"6766716_5437","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043332485302,"sku":"6766716_5438","price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043332518070,"sku":"6766716_5439","price":33.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ S","offer_id":68043332550838,"sku":"6766716_20578","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ M","offer_id":68043332583606,"sku":"6766716_20579","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ L","offer_id":68043332616374,"sku":"6766716_20580","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ XL","offer_id":68043332649142,"sku":"6766716_20581","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043332681910,"sku":"6766716_20582","price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043332714678,"sku":"6766716_20583","price":33.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":68043332747446,"sku":"6766716_5514","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":68043332780214,"sku":"6766716_5515","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":68043332812982,"sku":"6766716_5516","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":68043332845750,"sku":"6766716_5517","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":68043332878518,"sku":"6766716_5518","price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":68043332911286,"sku":"6766716_5519","price":33.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/8295\/6605\/files\/unisex-crew-neck-sweatshirt-black-front-6af4eb9f607be.jpg?v=1794436010","url":"https:\/\/flipemthebird.com\/products\/the-corporate-burnout-crewneck","provider":"Flip'em the Bird ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}