{"product_id":"the-burnout-crewneck","title":"The Burnout Crewneck","description":"There is a distinct flavor of exhaustion that coffee cannot fix. It is the hollowed-out, staring-at-the-wall fatigue that sets in right after you realize you just sacrificed three weeks of your finite human existence to reformat an eighty-page slide deck that nobody is ever going to read. You spent your entire twenties falling for the hustle trap, believing that if you were the first person logged into Slack and the last person to leave a thread, someone upstairs would notice your devotion and reward you with peace of mind. Instead, they just gave you the workload of the person who quit three weeks ago and a branded plastic water bottle that leaks in your tote bag. The human brain was built to forage for berries, tell stories around a fire, and take naps in the dirt, not spend eight hours a day fielding urgent calendar invites from someone named Todd who does not know how to convert a document to a PDF.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Burnout Crewneck belongs to The Quiet Quit Collection, and it was engineered specifically for the afternoon your soul files its official notice of withdrawal. It is not an invitation to blow up your life or cause a public scene in the breakroom. It is the official uniform of setting your boundaries at the exact perimeter of your contract and refusing to let them colonize your nervous system for one more second.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWe made this thing sturdy because surviving the corporate machine requires actual structural support. Cut in a classic, generous silhouette from an equal blend of pre-shrunk cotton and poly fleece, it gives you that solid, heavy drape that immediately makes you exhale the second you pull it over your head. The fleece is spun with air-jet yarn to strip out the scratchy texture and kill off surface friction, leaving the inside feeling ridiculously soft against raw, overstimulated skin. The collar, cuffs, and hem are fortified with a tight athletic rib knit shot through with spandex, which means the neckline lays completely flat instead of curling into a sad bacon ruffle, and the cuffs stay locked right at your forearms when you push your sleeves up to make a hot meal on company time. Double-needle stitching anchors every critical seam, so it will happily outlast whatever new restructuring plan leadership is panicking over this quarter.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA quick note on the colorways before you pull the trigger: the White variant leans toward a softer, natural off-white rather than sterile hospital neon, and the Orange pulls subtle, warm tonal shifts depending on whether you are sitting under grim fluorescent office bulbs or actual afternoon sunlight coming through your living room window. Throw it on, mute every non-critical channel, and remember that an organization that would replace your desk within forty-eight hours does not deserve your insomnia.\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Flip'em the Bird ","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":68044179275958,"sku":"6305735_5434","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":68044179308726,"sku":"6305735_5435","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":68044179341494,"sku":"6305735_5436","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":68044179374262,"sku":"6305735_5437","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":68044179407030,"sku":"6305735_5438","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":68044179439798,"sku":"6305735_5439","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ S","offer_id":68044179472566,"sku":"6305735_20578","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ M","offer_id":68044179505334,"sku":"6305735_20579","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ L","offer_id":68044179538102,"sku":"6305735_20580","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ XL","offer_id":68044179570870,"sku":"6305735_20581","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ 2XL","offer_id":68044179603638,"sku":"6305735_20582","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold \/ 3XL","offer_id":68044179636406,"sku":"6305735_20583","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":68044179669174,"sku":"6305735_5514","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":68044179701942,"sku":"6305735_5515","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":68044179734710,"sku":"6305735_5516","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":68044179767478,"sku":"6305735_5517","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":68044179800246,"sku":"6305735_5518","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":68044179833014,"sku":"6305735_5519","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/8295\/6605\/files\/unisex-crew-neck-sweatshirt-gold-front-6af4ea7e3cfc3.jpg?v=1794435727","url":"https:\/\/flipemthebird.com\/products\/the-burnout-crewneck","provider":"Flip'em the Bird ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}