{"product_id":"the-availability-crewneck","title":"The Availability Crewneck","description":"There is a specific, quiet magic that happens the moment you stop playing unpaid therapist to someone who never possessed the emotional equipment to meet you halfway. For months, maybe years, you convinced yourself that if you just found the exact right combination of words, explained your feelings with clinical precision, or gave them one more pass, the lightbulb would finally flicker on. It never does. Closure is an invented bedtime story sold to us by people who just want one last chance to waste our weekend. Real peace is a dead-silent lock screen, an unbroken eight hours of sleep, and an oversized layer of fleece thick enough to feel like personal body armor against someone else's unmanaged chaos.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Emotionally Unavailable Crewneck belongs squarely to The Ex-File Collection, built for the glorious aftermath of shutting the door, sliding the bolt, and throwing the key into a storm drain. We built it around an eight-ounce blend of fifty percent cotton and fifty percent polyester, knit with air-jet spun yarn so the interior stays ridiculously soft against your skin without pilling into a mess after two trips through the laundry. It gives you all the physical comfort of hiding out in your living room, paired with an embroidered hit that sits high and tight right under the collarbone. The letters are set in clean, widely tracked black thread, keeping the message understated from across the room and crystal clear the second someone steps uninvited into your personal orbit.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThink of it as wearable triage. It lets the room know that your empathy is currently out of office, your give-a-damn is permanently out of service, and whatever fresh crisis someone is trying to dump into your lap is going to have to find another landing strip. The double-needle stitching across the collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem ensures the boxy silhouette stays intact no matter how many times you wash out the memory of their last text. The one-by-one athletic rib knit collar incorporates just enough spandex to lie flat against your neck without stretching out into a sloppy ring, and the pre-shrunk cut means the fit you pull out of the box is the fit you keep for good.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIf you like a classic, sturdy drape that pairs effortlessly with denim or sweatpants, stick with your usual size. If you prefer that slouchy, oversized drape where you can pull your hands clean up into the ribbed sleeves and disappear entirely from the social grid, size up one notch. Just a heads up if you are picking up light or bright variants: the nature of this dense cotton-poly fleece gives the white colorway an earthy, soft off-white presence rather than a sterile office-paper white, while the orange carries subtle, moody hue shifts under different lighting. Pull it on, tuck away your phone, and enjoy the absolute luxury of being completely out of reach.\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Flip'em the Bird ","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":68032929628342,"sku":"7620580_5434","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":68032929661110,"sku":"7620580_5435","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":68032929693878,"sku":"7620580_5436","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":68032929726646,"sku":"7620580_5437","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":68032929759414,"sku":"7620580_5438","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":68032929792182,"sku":"7620580_5439","price":26.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":68032929824950,"sku":"7620580_5442","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":68032929857718,"sku":"7620580_5443","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":68032929890486,"sku":"7620580_5444","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":68032929923254,"sku":"7620580_5445","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":68032929956022,"sku":"7620580_5446","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":68032929988790,"sku":"7620580_5447","price":26.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":68032930021558,"sku":"7620580_5514","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":68032930054326,"sku":"7620580_5515","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":68032930087094,"sku":"7620580_5516","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":68032930119862,"sku":"7620580_5517","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":68032930152630,"sku":"7620580_5518","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":68032930185398,"sku":"7620580_5519","price":26.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/8295\/6605\/files\/unisex-crew-neck-sweatshirt-red-front-6af3745211f56.jpg?v=1794339939","url":"https:\/\/flipemthebird.com\/products\/the-availability-crewneck","provider":"Flip'em the Bird ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}